Tips on How to be a Helpful Bridesmaid

As many of you know, I was the maid-of-honor in my sister’s wedding two years ago and now I’m so excited to be a bridesmaid for my older brother’s wedding coming up at the end of December.


When my future sister in law asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding, I was thrilled. The wedding is getting closer and seeming more real. My brother and his fiancé have been in a long distance relationship for nine years, so to think of them finally getting married and me being a bridesmaid is so exciting! For some bridesmaids, wedding planning and having so much responsibility can be a stressful.

Every bride-to-be has so many tasks and to-do’s along the wedding process and as a bridesmaid, you will want to help her as much as possible along the way.

Here are 4 ways to be a helpful bridesmaid, which will hopefully reduce the stress of the bride and make their wedding planning process a great one!

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There are so many stressors when it comes to planning a wedding. As a friend of the bride, please try your best to be the calm in the storm. Let her vent when she needs to, talk non-wedding things when she needs to get her mind off of things, and help her come up with helpful solutions when things are not going as planned. If you are listening to her and notice that she is getting really overwhelmed, try to plan a fun activity for the both of you (or with the rest of her bridal party as well!) to try and get her to have a little bit of fun. 

Pay Attention

You might be wondering why both “listen” and “pay attention” is listed. Don’t worry, I am not repeating myself. Pay attention to your bridesmaid or maid of honor duties and do not rely on the bride to keep reminding you of due dates and where you need to be at certain times. Sure, there is definitely a time and place when you should ask questions, but if you have already been told something (such as when to be at the rehearsal), please do not run to the bride at the last minute asking her again. Instead, try asking another bridesmaid, find your invitation, or ask the mother of the bride. In the weeks prior to a wedding, there are so many last minute to-do’s and stressors that come up for a bride, so please pay attention and know when you are supposed to be certain places and make sure you do any tasks requested of you on time.

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Make Sure There Is A Shower & Party

Typically, the maid of honor and/or family will throw a bridal shower and the maid of honor will plan the bachelorette party, but if you notice that nobody is planning these events, try to intervene and get something started. This has the potential to become tricky because you do not want to step on anyone’s toes by planning something if they had it in the back of their mind, but at the same time, you want to make sure that the bride is getting everything she deserves. I always recommend sending a group message out to all of the bridesmaids, including the maid of honor, and just casually ask if anyone has any information on it and if someone is starting to plan. That way, you can get a feel for things before jumping in and taking over the planning process for the bridal shower and bachelorette party. I’ve had a friend that did not get a bridal party because everyone thought that the maid of honor would throw one and the maid of honor thought that the bride’s family would throw one. Once everyone realized that they were wrong, it was too late to have a shower. I felt so awful for that bride, which is why as a bridesmaid, I always make sure to find out who is throwing one in advance.

Try To Visit The Venue With Your Friend

I always recommend trying to visit the venue with your friend. This is essential for every bridesmaid because it will allow them to see exactly where they need to go on the day of. In addition, it’s always great for you, as a bridesmaid, to get to know the vendors so that if anything goes wrong on the day of, you know who to contact. Venues such as Jeter Mountain Farm, located in Hendersonville, NC, make this easy because they really take care of their brides during the entire planning process, and on the day of, as well. You will know exactly who everyone is, just in case you do need to do any last minute errands for your bride-to-be. The owners (The Hunsader Family) of Jeter Mountain Farm actually got married on the farm themselves in June of 2011, so they know how to make the wedding planning process easy and as stress-free as possible on their brides. As a bridesmaid, that is exactly what you want so that your bride won’t be stressing as much during the process and especially on the day of. If you are interested in checking out Jeter Mountain Farm yourself, the venue is located just minutes from downtown historic Hendersonville and is surrounded by beautiful mountains on their 411 acres of private hayfields and forest views. They say, “With deeds dating back to 1813, the farm has a long history; we look forward to you making your memories here, and becoming a part of history at Jeter Mountain Farm!”

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Take Specific Tasks Off Her Plate

Instead of asking what you can do and waiting for an answer, find a specific task, or tasks, and tell the bride that you are more than willing to do said tasks. Maybe it is chasing RSVPs, finding the perfect shade for the napkins or bowties, or following-up with vendors before the big day. Whatever it is, take charge! It can be very hard for some brides to release control and delegate tasks, but taking things off her plate will be very helpful so that she does not get way too overloaded and stressed out. At the end of the day, she will be so grateful for your help, I can promise you that.

Do you have certain tips that you’ve found helpful as a bridesmaid?

Until next time,
Caitlin xxx